• Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
  • Friends: Don't forget to socialize
  • Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
  • Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
  • Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
  • Society: Don't forget to be perfect
  • Tumblr: Fuck the world, at least you haven't murdered somebody today
  • Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.

Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

image

(Source: beautilation, via katersgunkate)

kitkatinc:

spelling bee administrator: you word is delicious
me: D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the D to the E to the to the to the
spelling bee administrator: hit it fergie

(via erinaa1321)

Reactions from people whose language I was trying to learn:

fatnajl:

linguisticsyall:

Germans: Oh you’re learning German? Hey, you’re not so bad at it. Don’t fuck it up though. 

French: About time you learned French. 

Russians, Koreans, Spanish-speakers: WOW YOU’RE LEARNING MY LANGUAGE? LET ME HELP YOU I CAN GET SOME MATERIALS FOR YOU AND RECOMMEND SOME SITES AND VIDEOS, DID YOU JUST SAY “HELLO” IN MY LANGUAGE? YOU ARE SO GREAT WOW I AM SO IMPRESSED

Dutch: but why would you do this

why would you do this

(via kareneish)

Let’s make the Flubber movie cover the most reblogged picture on Tumblr.

mymompickedthisurl:

thewinchesterswagger:

image

HOW IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I’VE SEEN THIS IT’S ALMOST AT 10 MILLION WTF

(Source: mspandrew, via katersgunkate)

In college, we don’t say “I love you”, we say “I have 5 essays, two finals, and 3 group projects due in the next 8 days” which translates to “I would like to be crushed by a train” and I think that’s pretty cool.

(Source: jpkitty, via erinaa1321)